Lost

I don't know what to do. Losing Tina and Mark was bad. The fact that I couldn't be there was worse. Then Kent gets shot. Now, he's gone. I didn't get to say goodbye, and I probably won't make it to the memorial. My stupid ass decision to move closer to family took me away from the family I've had for ten years. I'm just lost. I can't describe how much this hurts. I've been heartbroken before, I've lost friends before, but this different. It feels like my heart is gone, like my soul has been broken. I don't care what it takes, how much I have to do, the silliness I have to put myself thru. I will go home. I will go back to where my home has been for the last 15 years. WHat I have here isn't worth watching my friends die from a distance. I can't do this anymore. If I have to share a box with Cecil, I'll be back as soon as I can get back. I can't stop bad people from doing bad things, but I can't take this anymore.